Here it is. Pooflakes: Fashion So Fresh, It’s Criminal.

Attention! Tired of the same old boring clothes that everyone else wears? Does the fashion industry leave you feeling, well, a little bit constipated?

Well, then brace yourselves, fashion world, because POOFLAKES is HERE!

Founded by the legendary (and slightly unhinged) 14-year-old fashion icon, Elizabeth, Pooflakes is here to take the fashion world by storm, with designs so funky, ironic, and abrasive, they’ll make your grandma clutch her pearls tighter than a toddler with a juice box.

That’s right, folks, we’re talking about clothes that are:

As comfortable as your favorite sweatpants after a double serving of Taco Tuesday.

Edgier than a teenage hedgehog with daddy issues.

Guaranteed to turn more heads than a plumber at a poetry slam.